Image: ARAOG | https://www.araog.org/stepfamilies
The Bonus Grandchild
The term bonus grandchild is a loving way to describe a grandchild who joins the family through marriage or other non-biological means. It’s a phrase that highlights inclusion and celebrates the gift of new relationships. But building a bond with a bonus grandchild can take time—especially if the child is unsure about how they fit in or already has strong ties to other grandparents
Opening Your Heart—and Your Home
Creating space for everyone starts with embracing the idea that love isn’t limited by biology. As a grandparent, the simple act of showing up with an open heart can make a world of difference. Whether it’s attending a school event, remembering a birthday, or just spending quality time together, those small gestures help build trust and a sense of belonging.
It’s Okay to Have Mixed Feelings
Let’s be honest—this journey isn’t always easy. You might wonder, Will they see me as a “real” grandparent? or Why don’t I feel the same bond right away? These feelings are completely normal. Give yourself permission to acknowledge them without guilt. You’re learning, just like everyone else in the family.
Your Presence Matters More Than You Think
Even if you’re unsure at times, remember that simply being present and consistent is powerful. Children thrive when they feel accepted, heard, and loved. And as a grandparent—bonus or not—you have an incredible opportunity to offer that sense of security and belonging.
It’s Okay to Have Mixed Feelings
Let’s be honest—this journey isn’t always easy. You might wonder, Will they see me as a “real” grandparent? or Why don’t I feel the same bond right away? These feelings are completely normal. Give yourself permission to acknowledge them without guilt. You’re learning, just like everyone else in the family.
Your Presence Matters More Than You Think
Even if you’re unsure at times, remember that simply being present and consistent is powerful. Children thrive when they feel accepted, heard, and loved. And as a grandparent—bonus or not—you have an incredible opportunity to offer that sense of security and belonging.
Practical Ways to Include All Grandchildren
Here are a few simple but powerful ways to make sure every grandchild—biological or bonus—feels welcome and equally cherished:
At the end of the day, families are made not just by blood, but by love, connection, and shared experiences. By making space for every child, you’re helping create a legacy of inclusion and kindness that will last for generations. And that, truly, is what being a grandparent is all about.
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