Honor Grandmother
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Many grandparents are getting ready this summer to either visit with some or all of their grandchildren or host grandchildren at the grandparents’ home. Summer is an excellent time for waterparks, baseball games, and hikes in nature, or if you are like my wife and me, planning a whitewater adventure with our grandson.
These in-person visits also allow us to introduce or reinforce our family culture and values with our grandchildren. Not everything about family culture has to be serious. Some of the most fun and memorable traditions might be attending a Fourth of July parade, having pizza every Friday night, playing lighthearted pranks, or sharing chores like setting the table, preparing food, and doing the dishes together.
I recently spoke with a friend who mentioned that during a workshop about healthy marriages, he was shocked that people shared with him that they didn’t remember ever seeing their parents or other family members exhibit anything beyond an uncomfortable tolerance for their spouse.
I must tell you that this was both unsettling and something I could understand. Most of us grow up with the fantasy of some or all of the following: love at first sight, being in love is easy, relationships are easy, and if you have to work at a relationship, then it is not worth it.
When our grandchildren are young and just starting to observe and question the world around them, the media and society can send them conflicting messages about relationships. On top of that, when their parents separate, it can leave them feeling jaded, hurt, and disillusioned.
So, what can we, as caring grandparents, do to help provide an alternative message or role model? Others may have different answers, but grandparents can intentionally honor each other in front of their grandchildren. Are we going to solve everything by honoring each other? No, but that is not the point. The point is that the grandchildren will know AND see that it is possible to create, work, and maintain a caring relationship and that relationships don’t have to be filled with fighting, apathy, or be disposable.
Here are some simple ways you can model honoring your spouse, your grandchild’s other grandparent, this summer:
Daily interactions
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Speak kindly and respectfully, even when joking or disagreeing. These interactions show long-term love, respect, and playful connection.
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Small courtesies, like saying "please" and "thank you," go a long way. They show affection in the little things that can be as meaningful as grand gestures.
Use words that uplift.
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Giving credit or compliments that the grandchildren can hear and see helps to show how you value each other. For example, making statements such as, “Your grandma is the heart of this home,” or “I couldn’t have done it without her,” affirms her value.
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Providing public appreciation provides an example of how to praise your spouse's talents. Public appreciation also models how to verbally let people know they are appreciated and their contributions are valued.
Sharing rituals, time, and affection
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Date nights and joint projects that the grandchildren see or hear about are great ways to demonstrate how to maintain a relationship and showcase that you prioritize time together.
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Gentle and appropriate displays of affection, like a hand on the shoulder, a hug, or a kiss on the cheek. These PDAs (Public Displays of Affection) help to model interactions for our granddaughters and grandsons that signal to the other person love and respect.
As we embrace the joys of summer with our grandchildren, let’s also embrace the opportunity to show them what enduring love and respect look like. These small, consistent gestures don’t just shape our relationships—they become part of the emotional foundation our grandchildren carry into their lives. In modeling care, kindness, and connection, we’re not just making memories—we're quietly building a legacy of love that will outlast even the sunniest summer days.
About the Author
Greg Payne is the proud father of two sons and a Cool Grandpa to four fantastic grandchildren. He hosts The Cool Grandpa Podcast, where he interviews grandfathers about how they make their relationships cool. Greg also interviews adult grandchildren about their experiences with their grandfathers and experts in areas important to grandfathers. He has written the award-winning children’s book My Grandpa’s Grandpa. He is married to Karen Mangum and lives with their crazy beagle, Roxy, in Atlanta, Georgia.
