IMPARTING CORE VALUES

I don’t remember meeting a Caring Grandparent who didn’t want to share their values with their Grandchildren. As we strive to meaningfully connect with each of our Grandkids, this becomes even more essential that we zero in on the way to do this that hits the target.

It will be helpful to define what I mean when I say values since defining our Core Values is difficult. I have spent years and years refining what it is that I value most, hence Core values.

The most succinct definition I have come across is the working definition for this article. VALUES is “who we are when we are at our best.”

I have heard this also called our “Highest and Best Selves.” I think you get the idea. How do we communicate this with our precious charges that we are honored to influence?

Let me show you what I value for Grandpa Neil and how I communicate that to my Grandchildren. I have attended several trainings where the teachers spent time helping us define what these values are for us. First and foremost, when focused effort results in answers for ourselves, it usually yields 3 to 5 Core Values before overlap and/or repetition begins to occur.

Two of my Core Values are Energy and Enthusiasm. Now that sounds easy if you are an extrovert, but I have a shy side. If you ask my Grands, they offer an observation of me that aligns with my perception of my Core Values.

This is one of those things that is SIMPLE but not EASY. Finding ways to impart these values without resorting to lectures or sermons is challenging. Right or wrong, I will wait for a story that interests my Grandkids and highlight why these values are beneficial and valuable to “Who I am’. I work hard to meet my Grands WHERE THEY ARE, not necessarily where I want them to be. I search for opportunities for them to talk about what INTERESTS THEM, not what I want them to be interested in. And here may be the single most important technique I have come across. When I get them talking, I become the most interred active listener they have ever shared with. This requires something hard for me; I must keep my mouth shut, nod, and listen. This last part is not something I do exceptionally well, but I know the mutual benefits are priceless.

I also probe their parents for what is current and essential in their lives. This does require a lot of shifting gears, especially if, like me, you have Grandkids of all ages that are as different from each other as Snowflakes. I promise this will be the best investment for your Grandchildren and yourself.

Thanks for being a Caring Grandparent.