The Legacies Of Caring Grandparents

I have read a lot of blogs about grandparents, about grandparents rights and gifts for grandparents. I want this to be about what we can do for our grandkids and what we get back for the effort.

Every caring parent feels the responsibility of acting in a way that positively affects our children. Not just the way we greet our friends across the fence, not just the nice and warm family gatherings. (I refer to these as the Kenny Rogers Christmas Special syndrome), but rather when we get cut off in traffic, or the bus is late picking up the kids and it makes us late to work. I mean when REAL life is happening. When the pressure is on and the kids are watching. These are known as a teaching moments.

As caring grandparents we have the same power to influence our grandchildren, hence we have the same responsibility. Now please don’t let that scare you. I happen to think this is a wonderful opportunity to learn some interesting things about the young people who will be running things when we need the most help from them. Trust me when I say, hope abounds.

My years in youth ministry taught me many profound and helpful things about the young people of today.One of the most surprising things that came to me was a true sense of humility in the face of their goodness, their spirituality and their desire to contribute their talents to improve the world for future generations.I don’t throw this out there lightly. These reflections come from being invited into their world as they shared their hopes and dreams.I was and still am honored and greatly blessed by my time with these remarkable human beings.

Our own two children were around 10 and 11 when I began to work with these kids and for the next few years I brought my children along to everything the youth group did. You see, I had the wisdom to know that it would not benefit my own children for there dad to be gone off trying to teach something significant to others and leaving them behind at home. The group not only accepted them, it was more like an embrace. From time to time, some 30 years later one or the other of my kids will remember some neat and/or fun thing about those days.

I know you think this old guy has lost his way and doesn’t have a point to this story. Actually I do. After being off at college, my son Chuck returned to be the music minister at that very church sharing his music with some of the members of that youth group and their own children. Am I proud, You Betcha!! Is there a lesson here? I believe young people want to see what we do, not necessarily what we say.

When we let our grandchildren tag along with us in our normal course of life we create memories that stick . The really neat part is that these little outings are a three way win; they have a good memory, we have a good memory and we are being present to them all at the same time. Just think back and I will bet that some of your own memories of your grandparents are a product of everyday life.

I am not sure we understand the power of being present.I can tell you from experience that the times I was most effective with any young person (my own kids included) was when I was just being present and listening to them.Just think about that, I was just being there.Ain’t the universe wonderful?

I try to teach my grandchildren in this same way. The most wonderful thing is that along the way we benefit in many ways more than those we are setting the example for. BE HAPPY, NEIL